Tired of doing the same old ritual on New Year’s Eve? You know how it goes. Find a baby sitter. Decide on a place to have dinner. Choose between parties or a dance. Determine who will be the designated driver. Engage in the usual small talk, talking louder, and more suggestive as the night grows older, and alcohol takes effect. Wear a silly hat. Hoot and holler when the clock strikes midnight. Then engage in the same conversation you had last year on the way home, vowing to do something different next year.

Another New Year’s Eve alternative you might want to consider, one that can help your family grow closer, is to spend New Year’s Eve together. That’s what the Lowry’s do. They see New Year’s Eve as an ideal time to celebrate connectedness, reflect on the past year, and look ahead to the future.

For the Lowry’s deciding what treats to purchase, shopping together, and decorating as a family occupy much of the day. Dinner and card games fill the early evening. When interest in games dies down, they assemble in the living room, sit in a circle, and begin the most meaningful part of their New Year’s Eve together: “Topic Talk.”

Topics are ideas they dream up to structure the family conversation. One family member suggests a topic like “A new friend I made this year” or “My favorite song this year.” The Lowry’s then each take a turn responding to the topic for as long as they wish. Listeners do simply that, listen. When each person has had an opportunity to respond to the topic, family members ask questions and elaborate on their remarks. Topics used in the past that have helped the Lowry’s get in touch with each other and reflect on the previous year include: “My favorite book this year,” “Something I did that I’m proud of,” Something I wish I could do over,” “My favorite place I visited this year,” “Something I bought for myself,” or “Something I did for others.”

At 11 o’clock, the Lowry’s end Topic Talk and get out Our Goals, a list of goals the family shared and recorded a year earlier. Each member takes a turn reading his or her goals from the preceding year and telling whether or not they were accomplished. One New Year’s Eve the goals were:

Jerry: Go to horseback riding camp.
Matt: Get a medal in wrestling.
Brenda: Make the high school softball team.
Mr. Lowry: Run a marathon with dignity.
Mrs. Lowry: Lose 30 pounds.

After sharing how they did on the previous year’s goals, the Lowry’s create new goals for the coming year. Jerry acts as recorder and takes down each family member’s contribution. The goals are then put away until the next New Year’s Eve celebration.

As the time nears midnight, the Lowry’s turn on the TV and count down the minutes and seconds until the New Year arrives. The traditional hugs, kisses, and noisemaking follow.

No hangovers. No babysitter expenses. No loud, obnoxious comments from people you hardly know. Just a quiet, meaningful, bonding time with the most important people in the world—your family. Think about it.