Comments on: The Day My Father Spanked Me.

By: TealRose

TealRose — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 05:12:19 +0000

I too am trembling… and reading of spanking children does it to me every time. I am glad you weren’t spanked! My dad only started doing this the last few times [before he left my mum] as he had realised rather belatedly that 1) as she had already spanked me hard and 2) it was for trifling things like spilling milk that I didn’t deserve it! Spanking terrified me from day one .. traumatised me and I never trusted my parents again. Telling me ‘they loved me’ afterwards was just a ‘lie’ to me as no-one could hurt me like that and love me too!

Trembling MI mom – after reading your post … with the way I feel about my spankings and reading how you suffered. I don’t know how you could spank your little one – ritual or no! I so hope you stop before it really is too late …

By: trembling MI mom

trembling MI mom — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 18:55:57 +0000

Yes, I am trembling and crying. It took me a minute to get the courage to even read this article after the torturous, ceremonial spankings my father put my sisters and I through. Sometime they were immediately after an infraction, sometimes for something that today seems petty like when we spilled grain feeding the animals, and sometimes he would wait until after dinner. The latter made the biggest impression when he would wait until everyone had finished eating, then with the hired farm hands still sitting at the table, he would summon the thick yardstick from the closet that he had named “George,” clear the furniture from the formal dining room, then call us by name to present ourselves. All this, and

Since becoming a parent, I have put myself in “time out” many times but I have also found myself spanking my child. Fortunately, this has been less than five times in his four years of life. Each time, I think I cry more than him. I spent 18 months of deep study and implementation of the “Love & Logic” techniques only to find them to be effective in the beginning then deteriorating to 30% effectiveness in recent months. My husband and I are now beginning our journey with Chick Moorman materials after seeing the positive effects hour son’s preschool teacher has had. As they say, so much to learn, so little time…

By: Marsha

Marsha — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 19:30:03 +0000

Oh, I think this speaks of some strengths. Mother would probably have been very relieved to find out that the sounds were not an actual spanking. After all she couldn’t do it herself! Back then, we thought it was necessary. Unfortunately, I spanked my oldest children. By #’s 4&5(all boys) I learned different ways. A young stressed mom couldn’t think of anything else to do. I have told most of them and their wives that I was wrong. Now I work as a family suppport person so hopefully this generation will grow up learning from their mistakes without the fear of physical punishment and moms will have more tools in their discipline toolbox. Thanks for a great tool for me.

By: Pam

Pam — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 21:22:50 +0000

Awww Chick, that does explain a lot about the kind of person you are now. Ya know, not every moment can be used to teach everything always, or even any of the time. I don’t know why your father chose not to face down your mother in this case, maybe no one ever will, but he made the best decision he could at the time, and we have your living example of some excellent parenting techniques somewhere! Thank you for telling us. I am sure your dad knew your feelings.

By the by, that security code is almost impossible for those of us with low vision to read.

By: Christine

Christine — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 16:43:42 +0000

While I’m glad that you didn’t get spanked, I have to agree with the other commentator that I think it sends a horrible message about the marriage. If your father didn’t think you deserved to be spanked, it would have been more honest and honorable to say so to his wife rather than staging the elaborate ruse. And why did he tell you that he agreed with your mother beforehand if he didn’t intend to follow through with the spanking.

I agree with the message, not to spank, but I read this as a great example of how not to teach your children that lies and subterfuge are acceptable in a marriage.

By: D

Thu, 17 Jun 2010 15:36:02 +0000

Rather troubling to me, because of what it implied about his parents marriage. Lying to his wife, and the child knowing it is very disrespectful to his wife. Displaying that type of disrepsct as an example of how marriage works is rather harmful to children. If it was a one time thing it might not be a huge deal. He does not say in the post if it was a problem or not but if that was a pattern the lack of respect for women would be a pretty powerful message that gets passed on. Not really something I want my sons to get from their father.

By: Amy

Amy — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 15:29:52 +0000

That was not what I expected, Chick. Thank you for the heart warming story. Blessings to you and yours this Father’s Day…