Children’s imaginations can conjure up an unlimited amount of desires. They can want pizza for supper, a new video game, an iPhone, designer jeans, a notebook computer, and an increase in their allowance. They may want to take dance lessons, play the guitar, be on a soccer team, own a horse, sleep in until noon, watch television all day, and spend the night at a friend’s house. They often want it all and they want it all, now.

The list of wants that children desire can grow as fast as their imaginations can produce the ideas, including anything and everything. Although the imagination has no limit and is able to crank out a continuing stream of desires, there is a limit to the time and energy available to fulfill a child’s desires. Parents only have so much time and energy to invest in the pursuit of their children’s wants.

The “I want it all, now” stance reveals more than a full plate. It shows a desire system devoid of checks and balances. It results in children who believe they are entitled to have what they want, when they want it. If satisfied, it produces over-indulged, impatient, unmotivated children.

Parents need to help their children realize that they can have or do anything they desire, as long as they are selective and an active participant. We need to teach children that they can have it all in the right time, in the right space, and in the right sequence. They can have it all when they narrow their wants and commit to specific goals, one at a time. They can have it all when they join in the pursuit and work to bring it about.

Yes, it’s okay for children to let their imaginations run free and dream big dreams. It’s okay for them to want it all.  When they do, step in and help them narrow their focus, take ownership for achieving their desire, and create a plan to bring it about.

Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman