Sexting Blog
Posted: March 20th, 2009 by Chick Moorman & Thomas Haller
Our hearts ache for this family and for the mother, Cynthia Logan, who went on TV with Today’s Matt Lauer recently to warn other parents of yet another cyberspace danger. It seems Jessica sent a nude picture of herself to her boyfriend. When they broke up, the boyfriend forwarded the photo of Jessica to over one hundred high school students. Teasing, taunting, and other harassment quickly followed. Slut and whore are just some of the disgusting names that were hurled at her.
Jessica went on national television to warn others of the dangers of taking nude photographs of yourself. With her voice and face distorted to hide her identity, Jessica gamely came forward to help others refrain from making the same mistake she did. Two months later she ended her own life and the torment she had been facing.
Parents, listen up. Here are the facts:
1. Thirty-nine percent of teens are sending sexually charged material via cell phone text messages or posting the material online.
2. Forty-eight percent report receiving such messages.
3. Fifteen percent of high school boys say they distribute the photos after a breakup.
(From a National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy survey.)
Keep listening parents. Here are some more facts:
1. If the child in the photo is under the age of eighteen, the sender is distributing child pornography and can be prosecuted.
2. If the photo is sent to someone underage, the sender is distributing pornography to a minor.
3. Criminal charges can be made here!
4. Even a person who is posting their own photo can be charged with criminal activity.
5. The end result could well mean being registered as a sex offender.
“She was a good kid,” Jessica’s mother told Matt Lauer. “It’s very, very difficult. She’s my only child.”
Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. They are two of the world’s foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, conscious children. They publish a free Uncommon Parenting blog. To obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: www.uncommon-parenting.com.
I just finished reading this story and I felt like I should comment about the importance of parents to get involved.
I am an 18 years old and I’m a senior in high school. About a year and a half ago, I was in this same situation myself. I’m a very studious student with a 4 point and very well mannered to say the least, so even for me, it was hard to believe I ever got myself into one of these situations.
Just like the girl in this story, I decided to send a partically nude picture to my boyfriend at the time through email to him. (Note: This was the only photo I have ever taken like this and sent to anyone.)At the time I thought it was ok and normal to do stuff like this because I had heard of some many people my age doing the same thing. So needless to say, I thought it would be innocent, even though in the back of my mind, I thought it was wrong.
After a few months, my boyfriend and I broke up and the picture was forgotten. My ex and I remained friends still and would talk every now and then through emails. So about 8 months after the intial sending of the picture, my ex decided to send it back to me through my email to tell me he had come across it again. Unfortunently or fortunently, however you look at it, I wasn’t the first one to read the email.
My mother has always known my password to my email, but I really didn’t know how many times she would go through my email and read things. So obviously she found the email from my ex and then in turn, found the picture.
My mother must have kept it to herself for a day or two, because it was obvious that she took time to figure out what to say to me. She confronted me in a hurt dissapointed way. (I have never in my entire life have I ever felt so bad and embarrassed.) My mother explained to me all the problems with this on the legal basis, about how I could be charged with distrubuting child pornography (I wasn’t 18 at the time). Even though I was very irrated about her going through my email, I knew that she could.
After the whole confrontation, obviously I had all my technologies taken away from me. I had my myspace and facebook deleted. And I was grounded for about 5 monthes. (I didn’t complain because I knew that what I did was wrong.)
I have to admit, I am very grateful for what my mom did for me. If she wouldn’t have found out about what I did and confronted me about it, I would probably still be doing it. I feel so much better about myself and along with that, I actually believe I have a better relationship with my mom.
So for any of you parents who are scared to get involved in your kids life, please do it. They WILL appreciate it sooner or later. Just understand one thing…. we are human and we are young, and we make mistakes. But we are willing to learn. Stand up, be a parent. I’m glad I have one.
Britney
26 Mar 09 at 10:11 am
I never get this question answered by those who “support their kids…”
Why do you want your kid/kids sexting anyone? Why is that action acceptable?
While the Constitution is a shield to protect everyone’s rights, we have to protect children.
Why should sexting not be illegal? I think that line of questioning avoids the more important question…
Do you want your child sexting?
I think many “parents” have yet to mature into parents. It wasn’t that Ozzie and Harriet didn’t “get it on” after the kids were asleep, it is that they didn’t act like teenagers in front of their kids.
If the parent is “not responsible,” why do we think the kids will be responsible?
Counsel
28 May 09 at 8:38 am
The facts that you pointed out here are very eye opening, shocking and quite scary and it is so important that parents step up and really become involved. Kudo’s to the young lady in the story (Jessica). I hope that by sharing her story, she can help save many teens from falling into this dangerious “Sexting” trap
Aurelia Williams
19 Oct 09 at 5:55 pm
This is a topic that I am glad someone had the audacity to get in front of the nation to help bring awareness. One my blog I have been talking about ’sexting’ and youths this past week. Personally I believe that there is a huge gap between the technological skills of children and their parents. Many parents are ignorant to the every changing threats that are on the internet. Peer pressure and media influences have cause many youths to believe that posting nude or sexually explicit comments will make them popular. Unfortunately just one message could ruin a youth’s life before they even enter high school. If parents are to be proactive they must find resources that are available. I use Mousemail.com which filters through emails, texts, etc for free, and directs potential threats to me. There needs to be more awareness provided to parents about the services that are available, and I thank Jessica for laying her story out for the world to see.
Jay Simpson
12 Jun 11 at 5:11 am