Some parents encourage their children to do daily chores by attaching money to the completion of the chore list. Their attitude is, “If you work you get paid. If you don’t work, you don’t get paid.” They defend this position with the argument, “We all get paid to do our job. That’s the way the world works.” They maintain that chores are the children’s job and the money is an incentive to do the chore.

These parents take pride in the belief that they are helping their children develop a healthy work ethic and teaching them the cause and effect relationship between work and money. They are missing an important point. They are neglecting the importance of the family connectedness ethic.

So what is the family connectedness ethic? Simply put, it is this—we are all part of this family and we have a responsibility to each other to make the home and family run smoothly for all. Chores are not a job. They are something everyone does because we are part of a family. They are a responsibility we all have because we live in the home. As a family we help each other and make it easier for all of us to live comfortably by helping with the things that need to be done around the house. When we all pitch in, the house operates more effectively and we all have more time to enjoy the things we really like to do. The purpose of the chore is to help children learn to be a part of a family and how working together makes it easier for all. It’s about the family connectedness ethic, not the work ethic.

The purpose of a child’s allowance is not to teach them about the world of work. An allowance is given for the same reason there are chores, because they are part of the family. Children get an allowance so they can learn how to spend, save, and use money. With an allowance they can learn about charity, saving for a desired object or experience, and having to do without once it is spent.

If children want or feel they need more money than the allowance provides, there are additional ways to get it. Doing out of the ordinary jobs around the house, over and above their normal chores, is one way for them to earn additional income. This will help them internalize the concept that if they want more they can work more.

Do you get paid to do the laundry, fold the clothes, wash the dishes, vacuum the living room, and make your bed? No, and neither should children.